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How to write that first online-dating note

Author: 1 от 1-09-2011, 23:05
How to write that first online-dating note


Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book "Stuff Hipsters Hate." When they're not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as a senior writer at MTV, and Bartz is a news editor at Psychology Today. Got a question about etiquette in the digital world? Contact them at netiquette@cnn.com.

(CNN) -- Last week, we penned a public service announcement demonstrating a few of the ways you can guarantee a nonresponse in an initial online dating message, no matter the quality of your profile or personality.

While we received a fair amount of gratitude (mostly from online daters tired of finding such hapless missives in their inboxes), we also received many a request for tips on what to write in a successful first note. (One humanity-loving reader also took the time to inform us he suspects we are "two former high school cheerleaders who now have an inferiority complex," a flattering if inaccurate assumption that we were once capable of killer herkies and immense pep.)

While it's infinitely more fun to tell you what not to do than it is to give you helpful pointers (hey, the Ten Commandments weren't written in the negative for nothin'), this week we're heeding your call.

Before we proceed with the advice-shilling, though, a big disclaimer looms. Even if you write an excellent first letter, there is no guarantee that the recipient will write you back. If there were a magic formula, some genius would have cracked it by now.

Every online dater has had the experience of reading an impossibly sweet, heart-bursting message and thinking, "Oh, sigh, I wish we could use this site to arrange dates for our friends or make new totally platonic acquaintances, because the sender of this message is clearly a lovely person. Alas. [hits delete]."

This is simply part of the numbers game that is dating (online and in real life), and it's the reason online courtship is not for those with rickety self-esteem and hair-trigger rejection sensitivity. Because most of your messages will go unanswered, doesn't mean there's anything wrong about you. (Certainly you're brimming with foibles, but your intended date doesn't necessarily know that yet.)

How Arab youth found their voice

Author: 1 от 30-08-2011, 16:29
When Mohamed Bouazizi set himself on fire in Tunisia in January, he did not only ignite a series of unpredicted revolts but also heralded the first appearance of Arab youth on the stage of modern history.

Young people in the Arab world, who had been undermined and perceived as a development burden on the region, became a promise of progress in a new era.

Young people suddenly felt as if a new dimension was discovered through which they could mobilize. They finally exercised their rights and, more importantly, said "never again" to the era of absolute domination and authoritarian regimes.

Their ambitions led them to sacrifice their lives while calling for the replacement of the humiliation and dehumanization they have long experienced with human rights, democracy, equality and legitimate governance.

Millions of youth like me who lived an entire life under one autocratic ruler suddenly changed from being subjects in a society where public opinion didn't matter to being citizens reconfiguring the political, cultural and media spheres. With these movements, a few months of the Arab Spring created a sense of Arab solidarity that decades of political rhetoric and ideological slogans failed to achieve.

I was lucky to visit Tunisia, Libya, Egypt and other Arab countries a few months before the uprising and then witness after that how those historical moments reshaped the identity of young people living in these countries.

Visiting Cairo again in July during the renewed protests was a completely new experience and I could not feel this sense of solidarity anywhere more than in Tahrir Square.

I received exceptional greetings and a warm welcome every time protesters found out I was from Yemen, and many of them insisted on inviting me for a "freedom tea" during which we had endless discussions about the situation in Yemen and the progress of the revolution.

Everyone was surprisingly well-informed and up-to-date with the events in every Arab country going through a process of profound changes and reform. I felt as if Cairo's Tahrir was the headquarters of the Arab uprising.

The dramatic shift in how young people in different countries recognize each other is astonishing. In the past our ties were shallow and negatively affected by numerous crises and conflicts we witnessed in the past decades, offering youth more reasons to disagree and even demonize each other in many cases.

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